We are all over 50 now...and so we thought this would be a great place to share funnies, jokes and whatever... to keep us laughing. Email any funnies you'd like to share to: Memorialclassof1971@gmail.com |
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Where to eat?A group of 40 year old buddies discuss and discuss where they should meet for dinner.Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen restaurant because the waitresses there have low cut blouses and nice breasts.10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also.10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator.10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because that would be a great idea because they have never been there before. |
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Something to ponder… from Kemp LewisA comparative reflection of times then and now…True story. Back in ’67 or so, Dick Brawner and I (Kemp) were shooting our shotguns at what was then a pretty remote location west of 81st on the east bank of the lovely Arkansas River. Becoming thirsty, we trekked a distance thru brush, then over the “Jenks Bridge” and down Main Street in Jenks to the Sinclair gas station, shotguns in tow. Yes, we were two thirteen year-old pimple-faced kids walking down Main Street in downtown Jenks carrying our shotguns. Dick went into the station while I stayed outside with our guns. We got our Cokes (and probably cigarettes), then left. NO ONE BLINKED AN EYE. Crossing back over the bridge, we politely waved back to the policeman who cruised past and waved.Fast forward to 2008. Picture the same two thirteen year olds doing that now! Horrors! Call ATF!! Call FBI!!! Homeland Security! SWAT teams placed on alert! Immediate lockdown of schools!! Boys are taken into custody. Parents are called in and sequestered for questioning. It gets much worse. Under intense interrogation, Lewis breaks down and confesses that while hunting, he and Brawner bagged a few sparrows. OH, NO!!@## Lewis and Brawner are identified as neglected children, charged and adjudicated accordingly; and their parents must answer to Child Protective Services. Ultimately, Brawner and Lewis are fortunate. They are allowed to plead to only five of the fifteen original State and Federal charges and are placed on supervised probation for a year during which time Lewis and Brawner are required to attend anger management classes and grief counseling for the birds they killed. The required twelve week three nights per week smoking cessation classes did them good. The boys’ parents were not so fortunate. State and Federal agencies levied charges totaling $108,987.00 against each set of parents for fines and restitution. But, part of the stipulation was that the monies would be directed to the State Wildlife Habitat Improvement Project. That made everybody feel better!Looking forward to seeing you in 2011. Until then, have much fun!Kemp |
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Here's a good one from Patti Treadwell Unruh!
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' |
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Gentle Thoughts for Today-- |
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Here's a Memory Test from Martha! See if you can score 20 like we did!
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THE PERKS OF REACHING 50 + - Sent in by Martha Mahoney Sullivan!
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse
15 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who gave you this information.
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